Hey, I’m Jill!
Shoulding Survivor, Expectations Exterminator,
Leader in Leaping
Hey, I’m Jill.
I have an above average aptitude for connecting with people and an affinity for analogies and pump-you-up positivity.
Let’s start with an analogy.
Are you a fan of rollercoasters? Not me…literal or figurative!
The trick with those damned things is that once you’re on, you can’t get off until you pee your pants, throw up, have your butt come up off the seat, feel like you’re going to die and then have some teenager unbuckle you at the end. Thirty-three years on the Quicksand Crap Coaster was long enough – I decided that ride was BS, escaped at the top of the last hill and then climbed down the more challenging (but free!) way. Pssst…you can too & you don’t have to do it alone!!
I am now on the mindfully chosen, breezy Frick Yeah Ferris Wheel. And, WOW, if it isn’t just great! And YOU can join me! You can walk right in, sit down, enjoy a nice cool beverage and the breeze as you gaze around the amusement park and soak in the beauty of life around you (aka: evaluate, appreciate, make choices). Because peeing my pants, barfing and hyperventilating are not how I get my kicks.
I ‘should’ on myself (you know, like, sh!t) for the first 33 years of my life.
I am a recovering rule follower, expectation exceeder, and checklist ass-kicker. I never needed an off-road vehicle because I was in love with pavement – smooth, established, no surprises. The problem was, I was comfortable with all of those things, but there was a nagging feeling that left me unhappy, unfulfilled, less-than. Know the feeling?!
Though I was excellent at pleasing others, I rarely felt the true and pure contentment of being right where I was meant to be. Life was a magnificent checklist and with my A+ diligent, people-pleasing skills I was RIGHT. ON. TRACK.
Graduate from college.
(BS in food science – 2003)
Get a great job in my field.
(I’ve had a lot of great jobs – most recently as a freelance foodie.)
Get a Masters degree.
(MBA – 2009)
Find Mr. Right on paper.
(Married in 2010)
***Picture hypothetical speeding car veering from straight, paved highway into bramble bushes, down a hill (with Jill!), landing on its top and about to catch fire.***
I was terrified both times I was pregnant (…and, yep, I was married!) and felt a guilty wave of relief when Mother Nature’s plan aligned with what, at the time, I had no idea was my own. My marriage lasted about as long as a Yankee Candle. I was embarrassed, confused, hurt, scared and unsure of what to do next.
My checklist f*cked me so I said f*ck it to the checklist.
You are totally picturing me saying this in a triumphant movie-ending moment. Keep that image – it’s so much cooler than what actually happened! Honestly, it took a while to sort through everything. The “HOLY SH!T, YES!” moment came when my coach Erica blissfully dropped from heaven via my laptop. In 6 months, we worked together to move my foot from hovering over the brake pedal to full-on, tire- screeching acceleration. In other words, Erica supported me with objectivity, accountability and a whole-lot of action.
Here’s my new ‘checklist’:
(Except the grocery one…I never remember everything and scratching out CHEESE and WINE always feels good.)
Check-in with my compass.
(Mine is located between my stomach and my heart. If one feels good, I’m good. If one feels bad, I will end up with psychosomatic diarrhea and know something needs to change. NOW.)
Ask why and why not.
To just about everything. (My amazing dude is constantly teaching me how to do that.)
Love a soul, not a résumé.
Love someone for who they are, not because they check off all the boxes.
To what makes me a confident, free, joyful, empowered, happy AF woman.
5 Signs You're Letting Expectations
Run Your Life
Make a new to-do list.
Put Yourself at the Top.
Let’s work together to shake the shame of wherever you’re coming from and move forward to where you’re meant to be. Contact Jill to take the next step. You got this!